Totally unrelated to my F1 post below there was an email from Ariel in my inbox today about the new Ariel Atom 3
The Ariel Atom is a road registerable car that is pure engineering and light on creature comforts(though not yet registerable in Australia; the guys there have been trying to get rta certification for the last 2 years and the day they get clearance is the day they get my deposit but until then it's only available as a track car) .
The 3rd generation isn't all that different to the first 2 but has had a number of minor refinements. but how much fun must this thing be to drive.
If you are in the USA and just want to take one for a spin email me as there are track days on both the east coast and the west coast.
The video above covers some of the new functionality but if you want to see what they really are about nothing beats Jeremy's original review below - the guy is a riot.
Cheers,
Dean
P.S. BTW for all the hoon heads visiting this page, check out http://www.livenascarchat.com/ and www.LiveF1chat.com :)
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
F1 Facts
This was sent to me by my friend Andre Merhi who's a F1 fanatic. Some figures in here (eg. tyre temps) are just out of this world.
Enjoy.
Few Facts about F1
Here are some interesting facts about Formula 1 racing
01. an F1 car is made up of 80,000 components, if it were assembled 99.9% correctly, it would still start the race with 80 things wrong!
02. Formula 1 cars have over a kilometer of cable, linked to about 100 sensors and actuators which monitor and control many parts of the car.
03. An F1 car can go from 0 to 160 kph AND back to 0 in FOUR seconds!!!!!!!
04. F1 car engines last only for about 2 hours of racing mostly before blowing up on the other hand we expect our engines to last us for a decent 20yrs on an average and they quite faithfully DO....thats the extent to which the engines are pushed to perform...
05. When an F1 driver hits the brakes on his car he experiences retardation or deceleration comparable to a regular car driving through a BRICK wall at 300kmph !!!
06. An average F1 driver looses about 4kgs of weight after just one race due to the prolonged exposure to high G forces and temperatures for little over an hour (Yeah thats right!!!)
07. At 550kg a F1 car is less than half the weight of a Mini.
08. In an F1 car the engine typically revs upto 18000 rpm,(the piston travelling up and down 300 times a second!!) wheres cars like the palio, maruti 800,indica rev only upto 6000 rpm at max. Thats 3 times slower.
09. The brake discs in an F1 car have an operating temperature of approx 1000 degees Centigrade and they attain that temp while braking before almost every turn...that is why they r not made of steel but of carbon fibre which is much more harder and resistant to wear and tear and most of all has a higher melting point.
10. If a water hose were to blow off, the complete cooling system would empty in just over a second.
11. Gear cogs or ratios are used only for one race, and are replaced regularly to prevent failure, as they are subjected to very high degrees of stress.
12. The fit in the cockpit is so tight that the steering wheel must be removed for the driver to get in or out of the car. A small latch behind the wheel releases it from the column. Levers or paddles for changing gear are located on the back of the wheel. So no gearstick! The clutch levers are also on the steering wheel, located below the gear paddles.
13. To give you an idea of just how important aerodynamic design and added downforce can be, small planes can take off at slower speeds than F1 cars travel on the track.
14. Without aerodynamic downforce, high-performance racing cars have sufficient power to produce wheel spin and loss of control at 160 kph. They usually race at over 300 kph.
15. The amount of aerodynamic downforce produced by the front and rear wings and the car underbody is amazing. Once the car is travelling over 160 kph, an F1 car can generate enough downforce to equal it's own weight. That means it could actually hold itself to the CEILING of a tunnel and drive UPSIDE down!
16. In a street course race like the monaco grand prix, the downforce provides enough suction to lift manhole covers. Before the race all of the manhole covers on the streets have to be welded down to prevent this from happening!
17. The refuelers used in F1 can supply 12 litres of fuel per second. This means it would take just 4 seconds to fill the tank of an average 50 litre family car.They use the same refueling rigs used on US military helicopters today.
18. TOP F1 pit crews can refuel and change tyres in around 3 seconds. & it took you about 8 sec to read above point.
19. Race car tyres don't have air in them like normal car tyres. Most racing tyres have nitrogen in the tyres because nitrogen has a more consistent pressure compared to normal air. Air typically contains varying amounts of water vapour in it, which affects its expansion and contraction as a function of temperature, making the tyre pressure unpredictable.
20. During the race the tyres lose weight! Each tyre loses about 0.5 kg in weight due to wear.
21. Normal tyres last 60 000 - 100 000 km. Racing tyres are designed to last 90 - 120 km.
22. At top speed, F1 tyres rotate 50 times a second.
So Formula 1 Driving is not piece of cake,thats why Michael Schumacher is the world richest Sports Person!!!!
Cheers,
Dean
P.S. If you are a big F1 fan you might liek to check out http://www.livef1chat.com/ next time a live race is on.
Enjoy.
Few Facts about F1
Here are some interesting facts about Formula 1 racing
01. an F1 car is made up of 80,000 components, if it were assembled 99.9% correctly, it would still start the race with 80 things wrong!
02. Formula 1 cars have over a kilometer of cable, linked to about 100 sensors and actuators which monitor and control many parts of the car.
03. An F1 car can go from 0 to 160 kph AND back to 0 in FOUR seconds!!!!!!!
04. F1 car engines last only for about 2 hours of racing mostly before blowing up on the other hand we expect our engines to last us for a decent 20yrs on an average and they quite faithfully DO....thats the extent to which the engines are pushed to perform...
05. When an F1 driver hits the brakes on his car he experiences retardation or deceleration comparable to a regular car driving through a BRICK wall at 300kmph !!!
06. An average F1 driver looses about 4kgs of weight after just one race due to the prolonged exposure to high G forces and temperatures for little over an hour (Yeah thats right!!!)
07. At 550kg a F1 car is less than half the weight of a Mini.
08. In an F1 car the engine typically revs upto 18000 rpm,(the piston travelling up and down 300 times a second!!) wheres cars like the palio, maruti 800,indica rev only upto 6000 rpm at max. Thats 3 times slower.
09. The brake discs in an F1 car have an operating temperature of approx 1000 degees Centigrade and they attain that temp while braking before almost every turn...that is why they r not made of steel but of carbon fibre which is much more harder and resistant to wear and tear and most of all has a higher melting point.
10. If a water hose were to blow off, the complete cooling system would empty in just over a second.
11. Gear cogs or ratios are used only for one race, and are replaced regularly to prevent failure, as they are subjected to very high degrees of stress.
12. The fit in the cockpit is so tight that the steering wheel must be removed for the driver to get in or out of the car. A small latch behind the wheel releases it from the column. Levers or paddles for changing gear are located on the back of the wheel. So no gearstick! The clutch levers are also on the steering wheel, located below the gear paddles.
13. To give you an idea of just how important aerodynamic design and added downforce can be, small planes can take off at slower speeds than F1 cars travel on the track.
14. Without aerodynamic downforce, high-performance racing cars have sufficient power to produce wheel spin and loss of control at 160 kph. They usually race at over 300 kph.
15. The amount of aerodynamic downforce produced by the front and rear wings and the car underbody is amazing. Once the car is travelling over 160 kph, an F1 car can generate enough downforce to equal it's own weight. That means it could actually hold itself to the CEILING of a tunnel and drive UPSIDE down!
16. In a street course race like the monaco grand prix, the downforce provides enough suction to lift manhole covers. Before the race all of the manhole covers on the streets have to be welded down to prevent this from happening!
17. The refuelers used in F1 can supply 12 litres of fuel per second. This means it would take just 4 seconds to fill the tank of an average 50 litre family car.They use the same refueling rigs used on US military helicopters today.
18. TOP F1 pit crews can refuel and change tyres in around 3 seconds. & it took you about 8 sec to read above point.
19. Race car tyres don't have air in them like normal car tyres. Most racing tyres have nitrogen in the tyres because nitrogen has a more consistent pressure compared to normal air. Air typically contains varying amounts of water vapour in it, which affects its expansion and contraction as a function of temperature, making the tyre pressure unpredictable.
20. During the race the tyres lose weight! Each tyre loses about 0.5 kg in weight due to wear.
21. Normal tyres last 60 000 - 100 000 km. Racing tyres are designed to last 90 - 120 km.
22. At top speed, F1 tyres rotate 50 times a second.
So Formula 1 Driving is not piece of cake,thats why Michael Schumacher is the world richest Sports Person!!!!
Cheers,
Dean
P.S. If you are a big F1 fan you might liek to check out http://www.livef1chat.com/ next time a live race is on.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Amazon Patent taken down by Kiwi
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/10/27/amazon_1_click_patent_interview/
Lol I love this guys attitude....I was bored so i thought I'd take down one of the most powerful online ecommerce companies out there.
Perfect example of the stupidity that's out there when it comes to the USA patent system.
Hope this isn't the last we here of examples like this.
Cheers,
Dean
Lol I love this guys attitude....I was bored so i thought I'd take down one of the most powerful online ecommerce companies out there.
Perfect example of the stupidity that's out there when it comes to the USA patent system.
Hope this isn't the last we here of examples like this.
Cheers,
Dean
Cityware - (facebook bluetooth application)
So as some of you know I have some Facebook applications under development/consideration.
I was at the Facebook developers conference where someone told me about Cityware.
It's a bit messy as it's a cut and paste post from there website but if you are interested then this thing will blow your socks off and you'll read it to then end.
How big is this application going to get? dont know but super interesting to see what happens.
Cheers,
Dean
Cityware
What is Cityware?
For an overview of Cityware, watch the video.
While Facebook does a great job of capturing our friendship networks, it does not capture who we actually spend time with. During the course of a day we come in contact with various people: friends we meet at university or work, people we always see at the bus stop, and complete strangers that we bump into while shopping. These people form our real-world social networks.
These daily "random" encounters with strangers are actually quite important. This is how you make new friends, or meet the love of your life. Using Cityware, you can identify your real-world network, see who you bump into most often, and explore how much time you spend with friend, or strangers. To do all this, Cityware consists of three components:1. A Facebook application that allows users to explore and visualise their real-world social networks.2. A server application that analyses the relationships between people and provides data to Cityware.3. A Java utility (the Cityware utility) that enables users to upload their data to our servers.
The motivation behind Cityware is to allow users to explore their real world networks in a Facebook-style environment. With Cityware, users can see who they spend most time with, who they meet most often or most recently. Additionally, Cityware information is linked directly to Facebook profiles, thus providing and extremely rich dataset for users to explore. Here is a
Cityware has been developed by Vassilis Kostakos and Simon Jones at the University of Bath, and in conjuction with the Cityware project.
Installation
For Cityware to work, you need to:
1. Add Cityware to your facebook profile. If a friend hasn't already tagged you in Cityware you may need to enter the Bluetooth ID of your mobile device. You can do this from the 'My Settings' page on your Cityware profile.
2. Set your Bluetooth-enabled device set to discoverable mode. Most mobile phones, PDAs and laptops support this feature.
3. Live in an area supported by Cityware, or help us expand Cityware.
Why does Cityware only work in certain areas?
Because Cityware requires an infrastructure of "nodes" which can actually detect which devices are in the area. This data is then uploaded to our servers so that we can feed it into your Cityware profile.
Where does Cityware work?
Anywhere there is a Cityware node... the node network is growing each day. To view nodes which our users have marked on the map click here and search for "Cityware". You can easily make your area Cityware-supported, by clicking here.
How can I get Cityware to work in my school, university, company, or city?
It's free! All you need is a computer with an internet connection. Click here.
Cityware is not working. What's wrong?
Make sure you fulfill the requirements described above. Also, note that even if you live in a Cityware-supported area, you are not guaranteed to show up in Cityware. For this to happen, you need to have walked past one of the specific locations (such as the cafeteria of your school, a coffee shop, or the library foyer). Data takes a few minutes to appear in your Cityware page. The mini-Cityware profile that appears in your Facebook profile gets updated every time you click on the link "My Cityware", or the Cityware link in your top-left application panel. If you have multiple devices registered with your account, your mini-profile will show data from the device that appears at the top of your settings page.
How do I find my Bluetooth ID?
Each Bluetooth-enabled device has a unique Bluetooth ID that uniquely identifies it. This is exactly how Facebook works, by assigning a unique ID to each user. For example, your Facebook ID is: 674616722. There are a number of ways to figure out your Bluetooth ID. The easiest way, if you have a Nokia phone, is to type *#2820# in your phone. Many phones will allow you to use our BTIdentify tool (for a full list of compatible devices click here). Download the BTIdentify jar file here and copy it to your phone using your USB cable or Bluetooth connection to your PC. Run the application and it will show you the Bluetooth address of your device. For all other phones and mobile devices, please follow these instructions. 1.Pair your device with another device or laptop. For example, you can pair your device with your desktop computer (provided the computer has Bluetooth), or you can pair your device with a friend's mobile phone (provided your friend's phone has Bluetooth). The pairing process usually involves the exchange of a password which you can set.2.After pairing, you need to find on your desktop (or friend's phone) the list of paired devices. For Windows computers, go to the control panel and double-click on "Bluetooth". For Mac OS X, go to System Preferences, and click on Bluetooth. For mobile phones, you need to go to the Bluetooth preferences screen, and look for an option "Paired devices" or similar.3. A number of details will be provided about your device, including its name, the services it provides, as well as its ID (also refered to as Address). The ID should be 12 characters long. Sometimes the ID is printed with colons (11:22:33:44:55:66), in which case you can just ignore the colons. This is the ID that you need to enter in Cityware settings.
Using Cityware
The main page
The main page displays a person's Cityware profle. The profile can be either yours or someone else's. Your profile will show you statistics on the people you encounter on a daily basis. By encounter, we mean being in the same place at the same time. The displayed information can be sorted according to the
duration of encounters (how much time you spend with someone),
frequency (how many distinct times you encountered each other),
or recency (the last time you encountered each other). By default your profile will show the top 8 encounters per page, but you can click on the "Show more" link to display up to 100 entries. You will also note that the top 3 entries from each category are shown on the Cityware box in your Facebook profile.
Cityware knows which Bluetooth devices belong to which Facebook users by using tagging. When looking at a Cityware profile, you can click on the link "Tag this device". This will allow you to link the specific Bluetooth device to a Facebook user. Doing so will then enable you to explore their Cityware profile.
The settings page
On the settings page can see which Bluetooth devices have been linked to your account. For example, you may own a mobile phone and two laptops that have Bluetooth, and these will show up here. On this page you can set the type of Bluetooth device to be either a mobile phone or a computer. You will also notice that each device has an assigned name that you cannot directly edit. The only way to change a device's name is by changing its Bluetooth name on the device itself. Eventually, the new name will make its way into our servers.
Finally, if you want to dissasociate yourself from a device, you can click on the link "Untag this device". This will remove the association between your device and your Facebook account.
What is your privacy policy?
Cityware is an academic research project, and we do not intend to make a profit. All data we collect is stored securely on our servers. We intend to publish the results of our research in a fully anonimised way, such that no individual's privacy is undermined.
Troubleshooting
It's not working!
Cityware requires data about you, so that it can show it to you. For Cityware to have data about you and your friends, you need to be in a Cityware-supported city, school, or office. If you would like to involve your organisation in Cityware, click here.
I live in a Cityware-supported area, but it still doesn't work
Make sure your Bluetooth is switched on, and set to discoverable. Also make sure that you have been near the computers running the Cityware utility. Finally, make sure your device shows up in the settings page. If not, then add it using the "Add device" link in the settings page.
I do not live in a Cityware-supported area. What should I do?
You can easily turn your area into a Cityware-supported area. Click here for more information.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Eyeball Valuations
Interesting article in todays New York Times primarily about Current.tv and one of it's owners Al Gore however really interesting point that I noted was two figures stated about what a 'viewer' valuation might be worth in a dollar figure.
Basically they value Current.tv at $40 per subscriber - now I dont know how much Time Warner pays current.tv each month to carry it on my subscription that I pay $45 a month for 600+ channels but it cant be much.
Obviously some of this will also be offset with the amount of advertising they can sell during the lifetime of my subscription as well.
Personally i think $40 is too high but what do i know.
A more realistic figure is the actual valuation from last months Oxygen network sale to NBC. Oxygen runs a 'female focused' cable network....and yes they run good movies from time to time so I've watched it occasionally.
The trade sale at $12 per subscriber seems more realistic.
Oh and in case you didn't know Oprah was one of the founding directors/investors in Oxygen....and was reported to have received $250m+ for her part of the sale. Lol that woman could get a flat tire on a freeway and still make money out of it some how.
Anyway interesting times. In case you are really interested in eyeball valuations you might also want to have a listen to Shelly Palmers podcast with the CEO of Jump.tv where in the last 1/3rd of the interview they discuss valuations for new online video media.
Cheers,
Dean
Basically they value Current.tv at $40 per subscriber - now I dont know how much Time Warner pays current.tv each month to carry it on my subscription that I pay $45 a month for 600+ channels but it cant be much.
Obviously some of this will also be offset with the amount of advertising they can sell during the lifetime of my subscription as well.
Personally i think $40 is too high but what do i know.
A more realistic figure is the actual valuation from last months Oxygen network sale to NBC. Oxygen runs a 'female focused' cable network....and yes they run good movies from time to time so I've watched it occasionally.
The trade sale at $12 per subscriber seems more realistic.
Oh and in case you didn't know Oprah was one of the founding directors/investors in Oxygen....and was reported to have received $250m+ for her part of the sale. Lol that woman could get a flat tire on a freeway and still make money out of it some how.
Anyway interesting times. In case you are really interested in eyeball valuations you might also want to have a listen to Shelly Palmers podcast with the CEO of Jump.tv where in the last 1/3rd of the interview they discuss valuations for new online video media.
Cheers,
Dean
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Robert T. Bigelow and his amazingly expanding space station
When VC's look for an investment opportunity one of the key 5 factors they are looking for is barriers to entry.
If you're going to build the next Facebook you may have all of the other 4 requirements covered but so what - any 18 year old kid can knock together something in his parents basement that devalues you and your proposal.
So when i read about Bigelow (who I've never heard of before today) in this article all I could think of is wow what an amazing barrier to entry for any competition.
It may read like a bad re-write of the Jodie Foster Contact movie but there definitely seems to be something there. Keep an eye out for this guy.
Cheers,
Dean
If you're going to build the next Facebook you may have all of the other 4 requirements covered but so what - any 18 year old kid can knock together something in his parents basement that devalues you and your proposal.
So when i read about Bigelow (who I've never heard of before today) in this article all I could think of is wow what an amazing barrier to entry for any competition.
It may read like a bad re-write of the Jodie Foster Contact movie but there definitely seems to be something there. Keep an eye out for this guy.
Cheers,
Dean
Comcast Sucks
I just don't get it - why spend millions of dollars a year on television marketing and print if you are going to alienate your users so badly.
Comcast is a cable provider here in the USA. Cable providers have had a really sweet deal for a number of years pretty much being a monopoly for high speed Internet. Although you can get 3mb dsl in a large percentage of the country once cable providers moved their services up to 8mb downloads it's pretty much the default choice. (eg I use Time Warner cable but my other option are Verizon dsl (and a few other dsl providers) no fios yet unfortunately :(
Because cable has this monopoly it was them or a lower speed dsl (of course that was until fios fiber and a few other options became available in the last few years).
So with these new options you think the cable companies would be trying to bend over backwards to win/keep their high speed customers, especially their savvy technically literate users as they are tending to pay for the faster tiers of service.
Well Comcast a few weeks ago decide to start blocking bit torrents.
A bit torrent is a way of downloading a single file from multiple locations at the same time eg, lets say I need to download a 100mb movie trailer - I download using bit torrent from 10 people at 10mbs each in 10 seconds rather than from 1 person at 10 mb in 100 seconds (or 1.5mins approx).
That's a simple example but you get the idea.
Yes a lot of people download pirate content using bit torrent but that's not the only use. Eg I can download asterisk updates using bit torrent or large development files or software updates etc.
Private people can also set up their own bit torrent servers to deliver their own private content to people they are working with etc.
You get the point - it's basically a very smart way of sharing files, any type of files. I mean you paid for that extra fast high speed bandwidth for a reason right?
Wrong.
So Comcast have bought some technology from a company called Sandvine. This company has a way of looking at your ISP traffic and working out when you are downloading bit torrent files - when they detect you doing this Comcast then 'throttle' your network to the point it looks like it's no longer working.
Whats worse is they have also been caught with their pants down (probably by internal staff who think it's a stupid idea in the first place) http://mashable.com/2007/10/26/comcast-isnt-net-neutral-are-they-liars-too/ Dont you love the semi-lies and the selective 'wording' in that pr debacle.
Either way Comcast sucks and I hope all of their customers walk with their feet - even if just for a few months so that ISP's know they cant push us around.
Cheers,
Dean
Comcast is a cable provider here in the USA. Cable providers have had a really sweet deal for a number of years pretty much being a monopoly for high speed Internet. Although you can get 3mb dsl in a large percentage of the country once cable providers moved their services up to 8mb downloads it's pretty much the default choice. (eg I use Time Warner cable but my other option are Verizon dsl (and a few other dsl providers) no fios yet unfortunately :(
Because cable has this monopoly it was them or a lower speed dsl (of course that was until fios fiber and a few other options became available in the last few years).
So with these new options you think the cable companies would be trying to bend over backwards to win/keep their high speed customers, especially their savvy technically literate users as they are tending to pay for the faster tiers of service.
Well Comcast a few weeks ago decide to start blocking bit torrents.
A bit torrent is a way of downloading a single file from multiple locations at the same time eg, lets say I need to download a 100mb movie trailer - I download using bit torrent from 10 people at 10mbs each in 10 seconds rather than from 1 person at 10 mb in 100 seconds (or 1.5mins approx).
That's a simple example but you get the idea.
Yes a lot of people download pirate content using bit torrent but that's not the only use. Eg I can download asterisk updates using bit torrent or large development files or software updates etc.
Private people can also set up their own bit torrent servers to deliver their own private content to people they are working with etc.
You get the point - it's basically a very smart way of sharing files, any type of files. I mean you paid for that extra fast high speed bandwidth for a reason right?
Wrong.
So Comcast have bought some technology from a company called Sandvine. This company has a way of looking at your ISP traffic and working out when you are downloading bit torrent files - when they detect you doing this Comcast then 'throttle' your network to the point it looks like it's no longer working.
Whats worse is they have also been caught with their pants down (probably by internal staff who think it's a stupid idea in the first place) http://mashable.com/2007/10/26/comcast-isnt-net-neutral-are-they-liars-too/ Dont you love the semi-lies and the selective 'wording' in that pr debacle.
Either way Comcast sucks and I hope all of their customers walk with their feet - even if just for a few months so that ISP's know they cant push us around.
Cheers,
Dean
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Cakke
I have just seeen one of the pivotal pieces of online video for the year.
I needs no explanation apart from in 4 days it's now been watched over half a million times.
Pass it on, if your friends are viral video fans they’ll love it.
I dont have any information on the creators apart from their limited website here
http://cakke.wordpress.com/2007/10/21/the-internet-stars-are-viral/
But I'm nominating them for an Oscar.
Cheers,
Dean
I needs no explanation apart from in 4 days it's now been watched over half a million times.
Pass it on, if your friends are viral video fans they’ll love it.
I dont have any information on the creators apart from their limited website here
http://cakke.wordpress.com/2007/10/21/the-internet-stars-are-viral/
But I'm nominating them for an Oscar.
Cheers,
Dean
Friday, October 26, 2007
Spraycan Art
It's amazing what some people can do with a sheet of art paper, a spray can and some old newspaper.
If you like this video be sure to check out the guys web store at http://www.spacepaintings.com/
Have a good weekend all.
Cheers,
Dean
Australian Immigration and Citizenship Test
There has been some discussion in Australia over the last few years about immigration and assimilation. One of the suggestions apart from compulsory English language tests (on a serious note.... what a joke I'll vote for it when it's compulsory country wide for everyone including existing Australians)
On a much lighter note a number of potential questionnaires have been circulating for approval.
I think that the test below comprises of the appropriate mix of lifestyle, mateship and important Australian knowledge to assimilate nicely. Any thoughts?
Cheers,
Dean
P.S. For any Americans reading this you might need to grab a translator to assist you :)
Immigration and Citizenship Test
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the
origin of, the term 'died in the @rse'?
2. What is a “bloody little beauty”?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a
U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos
rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of
a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the
chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum
did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana.
If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey,
Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average
consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother ?
b) You're going home in the back of a ?
c) Fair crack of the ?
7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard
'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called
Cheryl?
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat,
cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called
either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and
sounds like a bloke?
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a
chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that
has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other
people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is
required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs,
an Esky or Ugg boots?
18. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True
Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a
trailer or have a pool?
22. What does “sinkin p*ss at a mates joint” and “getten para” mean?
On a much lighter note a number of potential questionnaires have been circulating for approval.
I think that the test below comprises of the appropriate mix of lifestyle, mateship and important Australian knowledge to assimilate nicely. Any thoughts?
Cheers,
Dean
P.S. For any Americans reading this you might need to grab a translator to assist you :)
Immigration and Citizenship Test
1. Do you understand the meaning, but are unable to explain the
origin of, the term 'died in the @rse'?
2. What is a “bloody little beauty”?
3. Are these terms related: chuck a sickie; chuck a spaz; chuck a
U-ey?
4. Explain the following passage: 'In the arvo last Chrissy the relos
rocked up for a barbie, some bevvies and a few snags. After a bit of
a Bex and a lie down we opened the pressies, scoffed all the
chockies, bickies and lollies. Then we drained a few tinnies and Mum
did her block after Dad and Steve had a barney and a bit of biffo.'
5. Macca, Chooka and Wanger are driving to Surfers in their Torana.
If they are travelling at 100 km/h while listening to Barnsey,
Farnsey and Acca Dacca, how many slabs will each person on average
consume between flashing a brown eye and having a slash?
6. Complete the following sentences:
a) 'If the van's rockin' don't bother ?
b) You're going home in the back of a ?
c) Fair crack of the ?
7. I've had a gutful and I can't be fagged. Discuss
8. Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end of a wedgie?
9. Do you have a friend or relative who has a car in their front yard
'up on blocks'? Is his name Bruce and does he have a wife called
Cheryl?
10. Does your family regularly eat a dish involving mincemeat,
cabbage, curry powder and a packet of chicken noodle soup called
either chow mein, chop suey or kai see ming?
11. What are the ingredients in a rissole?
12. Demonstrate the correct procedure for eating a Tim Tam.
13. Do you have an Aunty Irene who smokes 30 cigarettes a day and
sounds like a bloke?
14. In any two-hour period have you ever eaten three-bean salad, a
chop and two serves of pav washed down with someone else's beer that
has been flogged from a bath full of ice?
15. When you go to a bring- your-own-meat barbie can you eat other
people's meat or are you only allowed to eat your own?
16. What purple root vegetable beginning with the letter 'b' is
required by law to be included in a hamburger with the lot?
17. Do you own or have you ever owned a lawn mower, a pair of thongs,
an Esky or Ugg boots?
18. Is it possible to 'prang a car' while doing 'circle work'?
19. Who would you like to crack on to?
20. Who is the most Australian: Kevin 'Bloody' Wilson, John 'True
Blue' Williamson, Kylie Minogue or Warnie?
21. Is there someone you are only mates with because they own a
trailer or have a pool?
22. What does “sinkin p*ss at a mates joint” and “getten para” mean?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)